much of a difference

its okay if you see it anyway, this is my only place. i have to where to bust out to. if i only make you feel taken for granted, i am sorry. but i didnt. all i wanted was really an ear that listens. i didnt need anyone to stand up for me. i dont care if they will to bad mouth me or anything. i just need to bust. and if you cant take me ranting, i wont anymore. i will find my way to rant. you wont have to bear it. i am sorry i spoil the morning but i will blame it on him instead. if he aint the way he was i wont have to rant. in any case thanks for answering the call. i can say i am disappointed for i never scold him, for i cant swallow fast, i had called you, for i didnt control myself. but then again, what's wrong with being me. i am crossed with what i see, it seems like she's your escape route. and i am the irritant. i always envy being your friends. why cant i be any better? its okay, i can swallow. i do self-consoling well.
you can do want you want, i am no one to say anything anyway, i will keep my silence and swallow the noise. the noise that i found, the noise that i create. i know i am irritating, i dislike noise, loud noise, literal loud noise scares me. but they come to me easy. like my ears have amplifier to capture them. so i wont ask, and noise will tell. they dont hide for any of us. they roar, roar to life. and make sure they amplify on me.
everything is brimming i am still swallowing, and i will do my best at it. its choking me. i cant spill anything out. not that i have a secret. drink water, girl. it will help even if it doesnt, tell yourself it will, and it will eventually do its job.

i feel so much better now, goodnight my ♥, i bet you are sleeping and mega pissed. i cant help but be me. but i didnt cry, i swallow.